OVERCOMING AND RESISTING URGES
One of the key skills in overcoming
compulsive habits like substance abuse, smoking, gambling,
overeating and so on is to recognize and resist urges. We
often have distorted, unrealistic beliefs about urges. Some
common misperceptions about urges, and their rational
counterpoints are:
If you have been using heavily, you may experience strong
urges the first few days or even weeks after quitting. They
may even grow stronger for awhile or flare up from time to
time. However, they will eventually weaken and fade away, but
not necessarily go away altogether. How long it takes varies,
of course, but most people find that there urges are not so
bothersome within a few months to a year of quitting.
Obviously, it is crucial to learn how to recognize and resist
your urges to use.
To help you become more aware of your urges and develop
specific strategies for resisting them, it is useful to keep
a log or record of your urges. Whenever your feel the urge to
engage in your compulsive habit, write down when it happened,
what was going on, what emotions you were experiencing, how
strong the urge was (on a one to ten scale), how long it
lasted, what thoughts were going through your mind when you
had the urge and how you reacted to the urge.
Studying these records can help you identify triggers or
"high risk" situations. Triggers can be events (something
happens), certain times (for example, coming home from work),
certain places (home, a bar), or particular emotions (anger,
frustration, stress, depression, etc.). You will probably
also notice certain thought patterns associated with your
urges, such as, "I need a drink". Once you become more aware
of your urges, you can develop methods to battle them.
Here are some specific methods to try:
Just accepting the urge can help. It's okay to have urges -
everybody does. It's what you do with the urge that counts.
Ignore the urge. Keep it at a distance, like a thought going
in one ear and out the other or the wind blowing through the
trees.
Detach yourself from the urge. Think of the urge as "it" and
study it. What does it feel like?
Rate the urge. How strong is it on a one to ten scale? Are
you exaggerating? Compare the discomfort or resisting the
urge to other possible discomforts, like being boiled alive
in oil or having your fingernails pulled out one at a time.
Distract yourself. Do something. Go out. Call someone. Get
absorbed in a task. Exercise. Remind yourself of the benefits
of resisting and the long term costs of giving in.
Remember a "moment of clarity" when you realized your habit
is a problem. Try relaxing yourself by imagining a peaceful
scene.
Visualize yourself in the near future feeling good about
having resisted the urge. Paint a mental picture of how badly
you will feel if you give in, like a scene with you hugging
the toilet bowl with the title, "Drinking is Fun".
Personify the urge by calling it the inner brat, the alcohol
salesman in your head, the addictive mentality.
Remind yourself that the urge will pass. Think about other
urges you have that you routinely resist. How do you do that?
Develop coping statements, thoughts that counter urge causing
ideas. For example, if you are thinking, "I deserve a drink
try telling yourself, "Even though it is unfair that I have
this problem, drinking is not a wise choice for me.
After you begin to develop some mastery of your urges, you
may want to confront them rather than just waiting until they
happen. There are many ways to do this, for example: Try
visualizing a situation in the past where you had a strong
urge, like running a videotape in your head. At first, allow
yourself to feel the urge and react as you did. They run the
tape again and without changing anything, force yourself to
see yourself resisting the urge. Practice this repeatedly
until you get a feel for how you can do it. This is like
"instant replay". Mentally "rehearse" a situation that might
happen in the future doing the same "switching" of your
feelings and reactions.
Try to make yourself have an urge, as for example in thinking
about your "drug of choice". This will probably be less
intense and more "controlled", so it will give you a chance
to practice, like practicing all week before the big game on
the weekend.
Put yourself in situations where there might be temptations
that create urges, like going to a bar or party (at first,
this may not be wise until you have developed some confidence
in your urge resisting skills).
Practice, Practice, Practice
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