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Home | Self-Help
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Coping
Statements |
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Coping Statements
Learning how to manage your feelings and
behaviors takes work and practice. However, one simple way to
get started is to develop "coping statements" to counter
upsetting thoughts. Coping statements are somewhat like
affirmations, but they are not necessarily positive ideas.
Rather, they are realistic or reality based. Coping statements
are usually challenges to specific upsetting thoughts, although
you can use them any time.
The idea here is to stop yourself whenever
you feel upset, like anxious, worried, depressed, angry,
guilty, ashamed, frustrated and so on. You can also use
undesired urges or behavior, like procrastination, smoking,
drinking or drugging as a cue to start the process. Catch
yourself, then try to observe what thoughts are running through
your mind. Take a sheet of paper and divide it in half
vertically. On the left side of the sheet, write out whatever
thoughts you have observed.
Once you have identified the offending
thoughts, just try changing them. As you get into this more,
you will probably want to learn how to dispute or evaluate your
thoughts on several levels, but the simple form of this
exercise is to change the thoughts in any way that helps you
feel or behave differently. Keep trying different alternatives
until you find one that works for you. Here are some examples
to help you get started:
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Upsetting Thoughts |
Realistic Alternatives |
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I'm
going to fail. |
I'll
probably do all right, but even if I don't, it's not
the end of the world. |
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I can't
stand it. |
I don't
like it, but I can stand it. |
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I'll
never amount to anything. |
It may
be difficult, but if I try, I can accomplish a lot. |
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That's
awful. |
It's
bad, but it could be much worse. |
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I must
be a loser because this person doesn't like me. |
I want
to be liked, but not everyone will like me. |
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I need
love. |
I want
love, but I can live without it. |
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That
S.O. B.! |
I don't
like some of his actions, but he is not all bad. |
|
I'm not
in the mood to do that. |
Tough!
If I want the advantages of doing this, I had better
go ahead and get it out of the way. |
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I'm
going to get fired. |
I might
be fired, but probably won't be. Being fired would be
a setback, but I can deal with it. |
|
I need
a drink. |
I want
a drink, but I don't need it. I might feel better
now, but I'll regret it tomorrow. |
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Hopefully, you get the idea.
Try it! I think you will like the results. Not only will you
feel better, but you will probably find that you have a lot
more energy to put into solving the real problems in your
life, not just wasting energy on getting needlessly upset.
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